My hospice nurse was here this morning. I told her that I've been feeling good, for the most part. I still get occasional twinges in my right armpit. Just a sharp pain, or a pinch, that's gone in two or three seconds. My right hand and arm are still swollen. It was a bit more swollen on Sunday and Monday, but by last evening, it was back to the size it's been for the past month. It always makes me nervous, when it swells, but so far, the swelling has gone back down every time.
The underside of my right arm has been very red for the past two or three days. The nurse says that it is probably the tumor causing the redness. As long as there is no pain or tingling, and as long as my arm does not feel hot, there is no cause for alarm. We go over those symptoms each time the nurse stops by, but it still makes me feel better to hear her tell me "no cause for alarm."
At our recent family reunion, my cousins, and other people who have come to visit me recently, were all amazed that I look well. And even more amazed when I say I feel well.
I am surprised at how quickly time passes. I can hardly believe that I have passed the doctor's three month estimate of the time I had left, and that I am still feeling good. I'm looking forward to the Wayne County Fair, but I am even more excited thinking about Dave"s and my one year wedding anniversary, on September 8. Each day brings me closer to that important occasion.
I want time to pass quickly so that I can get to our anniversary, but I'm trying to be patient, because I want to make the most of every single minute.
My nurse reminded me when she left today that she would only be coming once a week, instead of twice, because I am doing well, and she really doesn't see a reason to check on me more often. I am to let her know if anything changes, and the schedule can be adjusted.
So here I am, trying not to count the days, but instead to savor the moments. Each moment is special, and I am looking for the joy in every single one.